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newbie [Mar. 11th, 2006|12:28 am]
[mood |depresseddepressed]

well c'est moi.

My name's Jazz, and like all'a you, I'm being abused, by my mum, who's a violent alcoholic, my "friends", and the other students at the schools I've been to.

At the moment I'm known to my year as "the loner/emo/stoner/lesbo girl" parts of which are not even true,

hello, get your facts right before telling me to "fuck off and crawl into a dark, corner and slit my wrists with a blunt razor" because im "a worthless emo waste of skin and a fucking cunt who should die"

so I'm on here basicaly to vent all these fucked up feelings and stop myslef cutting again or trying to kill myself (again),

I'm not here to whine and say "why me???? why is it always me??? Its not fair!" coz its not, its NEVER fair, no-one should be put through pain by people who dont understand them.

so if anyone wants to talk, I'm here, always ready to be a friendly ear.

<3 love all you guys

Jazz xxxxxxxx
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I want to use you, and abuse you. I want to know what's inside you. [Sep. 12th, 2005|05:45 pm]

I have been abused.Collapse )
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(no subject) [Jul. 28th, 2005|11:40 pm]

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(no subject) [Jun. 12th, 2005|10:44 pm]

Well here is the tragically heroic life story of yours truly.

Thirty-six years ago on a stormy night in January, Mrs. Barbara Brent gave birth to me, her son, and named me Brent. My mom gave me a mini briefcase at the age of three, so I could hold my notes from Sesame Street in them. I wasn't an ordinary kid, I was into courtroom drama and by the age of six I was arguing for small detention cases against teachers. By grade six, no one could cross me, if they did, I'd hold 'em in contempt! By the age of ten, I began to experiment with drugs and when I was arrested for possesion with my best friend, Spud, I decided to take that dumbshit cop to court for the case of my life! I lost that case. But I vowed to that stupid cop that I would go to Harvard University, get really, really educated, and then come back with an appeal, and he was going down! Well, Harvard didn't accept me... nine times in a row, so I read "Lawyers for Dummies" and went to some college around my home town, Mississauga. By the age of twenty-five, I had gotten some woman knocked up with twins and was headed into the law proffession. By twenty-six, I was divorced, living in my mom's garage, and partener at a law firm in Mississauga. And this year, at age thirty-six, I got my first two clients, Zoltan and some other guy. That was my life, I am amazing!
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(no subject) [May. 26th, 2005|10:35 pm]

[mood |determined]
[music |Slayer]

Ok well, this is a little hard for me, but i'm going to stop being a nervous nelly and come out with it. No one understands me, but i know all of you probably will. I'm so happy to have finally found a refuge from all my pain. But anyways, ok. This is my story...

I was always a little strange, but i blame my parents for that. They always neglected me and compared me to my older brother Caymus. "Why can't you be more like your brother Caymus?" they would say. "Caymus never farts in the middle of a church sermon, or Caymus never forgets to turn off the t.v. when he's done watching it. Caymus knows how to cross stitch, Caymus volunteers his time with senior citizens." Caymus this, Caymus that. I just couldn't take it anymore, so i ran away and never looked back. I slept under a bridge every night and drank hard liquor. Then a gang took me in and i started getting involved in fights and got stabbed a couple times. Then about a year into living with the gang i realized i was gay. I only told my best friend jose, because i thought he would understand me, but he called me a fag and told everyone. They all beat me and kicked me out of their gang. I was alone again. So i went back home, and my parents made me get a shrink. What a waste of time, no one understands me, they're all fools. If my shrink thinks he can just be my friend, he's wrong! HE's never been stabbed before, he doesnt know what its like living on the streets and begging for your life!!!
So I had to go back to school, where i was constantly tormented by bullies. They all made fun of my cape and called me an art fag. Conformists.
But then I started a band with a couple of people i met downtown, people more like me. We named ourselves HAuNTid FaiTH, and we play shows at BTD sports sometimes. I cut myself a lot and then write poetry with my own blood as ink. Someday i hope to publish all my poems. But anyways, thats enough about me i guess, no one probably cares anywayz.
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(no subject) [May. 4th, 2005|12:41 pm]

Hey i'm Tanith, I found this and I thought it'd be a good way to vent my pain with other people who feel the same.

I am not scared to tell all of you, because I know you all will accept and I think this is why this community is important to alot of young people who without it might be dead right now.

Well I have been bullied since I was 6 years old, I never knew how it really affected me, being that I was diagnosed clinically insane and had to see psycholigists almost all the way through primary school. During this time my dad upped and left for around 5 years (i've found him again and we remain in contact). Then my mum contracted a disease called MS which affects the spine meaning she is in a wheelchair and i've watched her bubbly personality deteriorate into a bitter one. We had to move to a rough area where I was bullied every single day of my life until we moved to where I live now, which is, thankfully alot better. My little brother had been dragged into drugs at 11 years old and had fits of rage and uncontrollable anger and only just has been weaned of off the drugs. One of his friends was 16, and he used to break into the house most weekend nights so he could rape and sexually abuse me. He is now in prison, but only because he killed someone, not because he raped me...the scary thing is he showed no remorse. A girl who was particularly angry at me for telling her told me I probably enjoyed it, that hurt and because of him...I started cutting and burning myself with ciggarette butts and lighters and overdosing on paracetamol and calpol and other shiz like that.I was also drinking heavily. Then I was made to live with my horrible grandmother on weekdays, it almost killed me, it was there were I almost died, I had slit my wrists so bad I actually passed out and woke up around an hour later. We had fist fights and I was crying almost all the time. It was when my grandad died a long painful death of cancer, was I allowed to move back with my mum. It was then I got into a bad relationship with a 23 year old, he would mentally abuse me, beat me up and rape me. I thought he loved me. Of course I thought I loved him, He cheated on me with so many girls I can't even count and got a girl pregnant after forcing her to lose her virginity to him. I found the courage to dump him 10 months later with the help of a few good mates. It was then whilst he was on coke came into my house and beat me and my best friend, he was never charged. I then almost got raped by a guy I met and had to physically beat him off me with the help of one of my good friends. A few days after my nan beat me up and smashed a mug round my head breaking the cartiledge in my ear and it bled everywhere and she threw drink all over me and tried to make herself out as the victim because I had kicked her off me and accidently got drink on her. I hate her so much, she's a fucking bitch and a tyrant. I still cut myself but alot less than I used to and everything seems to be going well for me at the moment and I hope it stays that way to help with my underlying problems I still have in my head.
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2005|08:58 pm]

::waves:: hi...
i'm new...and i just want to say that this is one of the best communites i've seen. you guys are really there for each other.
I was abused from the time I could talk till I hit puberty.
and yeah. i just thought i shoudl introduce myself
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(no subject) [Mar. 11th, 2005|04:41 pm]

hey everyone,
i'm new here so i thought i'd intro myself...
i have been abused sinces before i can rememeber...
and some things i wish i didn't rememeber, i have been abused it many diffent ways...i have been abused in most all abuses people can name...well of the ones i have heard, and maybe more.
i'm 15, although my b-day is march17th so i'll be 16 soon! YAY!
well, i'm a cutter..well that's not true..i haven't cut for 25days i started a program...so i'm a recovering cutter i guess you could say...
i have tryed to kill myself acouple times but most people only know about one time i tryed..so shh..secret...
hmmm...i have eating disorder probelms too...but most people don't know about that either...
i have to go before my dad catchs me on here..and ....well you know.... :(
hope to find some friends and some support here thanks to all for reading...by for now!
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im new [Feb. 24th, 2005|10:50 pm]

hello my name is kristin my friends call me 10 i have been abused since well before i was born and today i found out sumthing that has changed my life for ever and i cant even tell anyone i hope that i can find support in this group i really need it now
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(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2005|08:50 pm]

[mood |scaredscared]
[music |raido]

im new my names amanda and im almost 17.
ive been abused since i was about 4 years old
i dont know what to post im scared to really post alot but
ill update later w/a little more.
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