|heres my story
||[Mar. 21st, 2006|04:50 pm]
Well my story is when i was 9 i moved to a new house and my neibors had a son he was 15 acouple months after after i moved there he started asking me too go over and i didnt know anybetter. he keep toching me were i didnt want to be toched he sexualy abused me till i was 12 and then he raped me. after that he kept abusing me and im now 14 and he was still abusing me till last febuary when i told my parents finaly. and now his out to get me cause i promised if he didnt hurt me that i wouldnt tell anyone.And im scared i dont know what to do I`m durty now i cant take it anymore i need help someone to licend to what i have to say i need to be exepted for who i am and how i am not throw out like the trash god i hate me. i just need somewhere to be exepted so thats my story
victims of abuse always blame themselves. i know its hard but dont blame yourself. you didnt ask to be abused. its not your fault. no matter what, you are accepted here. thats the good thing about true friends, they know everything about you and love you anyway...dont worry about what you say, just express yourself...we are not here to judge, just to help and support you...
dont worry hun, we are here to listen, talking can only be good...right?
well i hope things get better for you and that you dont hate yourself
love you xxxx <3 Jazz
if you ever wanna talk...
I know what you're going through. I have been mentally and sexually abused by people, some of them friends or people I should have been able to trust, and some of them family. It's difficult to push the thoughts of them away, because you can't erase what has already happened. And it hurts because, no matter how much you hate it, that person will always be on you, clinging to your skin like a touching plague. Living inside your heart like a sickening memory. They'll never leave. There are ways to ease the pain - cutting, making yourself puke, burning, sleeping all day, overdosing on medication - but none of those are healthy ways to deal with anger and sorrow. Quick, easy, not healthy.
The only advice I can give you is as follows:
This person who has abused you, he's going to be with you, even if he doesn't control your life completely. He will always stick to your mind as a small, nagging thought deep within your subconscious. There is nothing you can do to repair the damage he has done to you. All I can say is that you must learn to embrace this, as much as you don't want to. You have to take a look at your life and realize that it happened. It is your past, but not your present or future. After that, you take action. Telling your parents is the first step. Next, you need to take legal action. The longer you wait, the less evidence there is that the rape and sexual abuse occurred.
He wants you to feel dirty and humiliated. He has succeeded, but he hasn't won. Show him whose life he has affected, show him that you still have a soul inside you that you're willing to protect. If you give up, he wins. You don't want him to win. He has to pay for what he did to you, and you need to stop him from doing it again, to you or to another victim.
It's going to be a fucking tough time, kiddo. A shit-fucking tough time. It will be worth it if you can prove he's a guilty motherfucker and he gets what he deserves. And we're here for you. This community accepts you and supports you.
thanks i know i want to win but im already loosing i started shit i cant stop and its fucking hard and i cant do it anymore i try to be happy and then my mind goes back to him its always on him will he get me today will he hurt me again will he take tha next step live up to his threats and kill me i can never do anything with out him being in my head. its so hard to move out of the shadows and go on but right now i dont want to go on.